


I Promise We’ll Find Each Other Again

by AceAvenger



Category: Far Cry (Video Games), Far Cry 5
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Childhood Sweethearts, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Nonbinary Character, Other, Past Child Abuse, Patricide, Swearing, Unhappy Ending, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:14:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25252948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceAvenger/pseuds/AceAvenger
Summary: “Sheriff, when I was young, there were only two people I could count on in my life: my mother and John Duncan."An AU where Junior Deputy Blue Murphy and John Seed knew each other before the events of Far Cry 5. Selected scenes from their childhoods and the events of Far Cry 5.
Relationships: Deputy | Judge/John Seed
Kudos: 20





	I Promise We’ll Find Each Other Again

**Author's Note:**

> Blue uses they/them pronouns. I've also chosen to use they/them pronouns for Blue as a child. 
> 
> If I missed any warnings, please let me know and I will go back to tag them.

John Duncan hated school, every second of it. Somehow, the other kids saw him as tainted, as if sin were visible on his skin. They threw punches and mean words at him, the same thing he received at home. He fell to the ground, palms and knees scraping roughly against the blacktop. One of the bullies spits at him, hitting him on the cheek. John focused his eyes on the ground, anger swelling within. It was not worth fighting back, but the Duncans would make him confess later anyway. “Oh, is the little baby gonna cry to mommy and daddy? You can’t! My daddy told me they think you’re trouble.” John trembled, eager to punch the other kid, yet fearing the punishment of the Duncans.

“HEY! Why don’t you leave him alone buttface?” Someone shouted. Surprised, John looked up to see his hero. Most of the kids stayed out of this, afraid they would be the next target. A kid with short brown hair, 10 years old like John, stomped over, eager for a fight. Behind them, John see could their friend shaking her head. She looked at John as if he were a piece of trash on the ground, not worth helping. Their friend was probably afraid the pair would be associated with him.

The three kids backed away from John, looking at each other nervously. “Why do you care, Blue?” The leader asked, finding some sort of courage.

“One, you’re a buttface. Two, he didn’t do anything to you,” Blue snapped, counting out the reasons on their fingers.

“Oh, Blue and John kissing-“ Blue screamed furiously, running towards the leader. They landed a punch squarely in his face. The leader of the trio fell to the ground, crying. His friends rushed to help him up from the ground. “I’m gonna tell the principal, and he’s gonna tell your daddy!”

Blue stuck their tongue out as the bullies ran away. Their friend finally approached, not afraid that they would be roped into Blue’s shenanigans. She continued to look at John like he was a piece of trash. Looking over at John, Blue said, “We should get that wiped off. You don’t know what germs Tommy has.”

He searched their blueish-grey eyes for pity, but only found friendliness and warmth. Pushing himself up on his feet, John looked away from Blue. “I don’t need your help!” He snarled, brushing past Blue and their friend.

“I told you the little freak wouldn’t appreciate it,” Blue’s friend commented. John didn’t stick around to hear Blue agree with her.

John shifted his backpack as he walked home from elementary school. It was a long walk from the house, but the Duncans believed the walk would be good for him, a chance to reflect on his sins and be prepared to confess when he came home. “You walk this route too?” A familiar voice asked. John looked up from the ground to see Blue smiling at him.

He frowned. “You shouldn’t be around me.”

Blue frowned in response. “Why not?”

“I’m a freak. You might catch whatever I have.”

“Don’t listen to Holly; she’s a bit judgmental and usually wrong.” Blue rolled their eyes. “Besides, you don’t look like a freak to me.”

John stopped. “I don’t?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

Blue turned to face him with a wild grin. “Because if you’re a freak, so am I.”

\--

When John was 12, he finally met Blue’s father and realized why they were so determined for John not to meet him. Blue introduced him to their mom early on in their friendship. He also learned their real name wasn’t Blue, (It was Jay), and Blue was a shortening of their nickname from their mom. Mrs. Murphy was incredibly kind, and John wished Mrs. Duncan was more like her. She spoiled John and Blue with small treats whenever possible. John noticed Blue was always quick to change the topic from their father, bristling at the mention of him. Currently, John and Blue sat at the table in the Murphy’s kitchen, munching on PB&J sandwiches made by Mrs. Murphy. “What do you want to do this afternoon?” John asked, taking another bite of his sandwich.

Blue chewed, thinking for the perfect answer. A devilish smile crossed their face after they swallowed. “We could do bike tricks out at the trails.”

John grinned back. “Deal!” The front door of the Murphy home slammed close and both Blue and Mrs. Murphy jumped. They exchanged worried looks with each other. A chill ran up John’s spine and he wondered if they should leave now.

“Is anyone from my family going to greet me?” A voice called out, annoyed from the living room.

“Coming honey,’ Turning to Blue, Mrs. Murphy instructed, ‘You should leave now. Enjoy your afternoon, Blue Jay.”

“What about you, mom?” Blue asked, worried. Blue and John got up from their seats. Blue stood near the table, while John walked over to the door, ready to fling it open and run.

“Don’t worry about me, Blue Jay. Just go,” Mrs. Murphy urged.

“Can’t you two do anything fucking right? What does a man need to do to be greeted by his fucking family? I bet the Duncans don’t have this problem. Maybe, I should ask Mr. Duncan how he whipped his family into shape,” A man said, stomping into the room. John was struck by two things. First, he was struck by how similar Blue and this man looked alike. Same brown hair, blue eyes, pale and freckled skin. Even their faces resembled one another. Second, he couldn’t understand why this man worshipped his family. No one should ever want to be like his adoptive parents, and John trembled at the mention of their name. Noticing John in the kitchen, the man stomped over to Blue, grabbing them roughly by the arm, his fingers digging into their skin. “It’s only polite to introduce us, Jay.”

Blue whimpered at his tight grip, a pained look on their face. “He’s my friend, John,” Blue replied, voice empty and their posture stiff and frozen.

The man laughed harshly. “What did you do to make a friend? Let him cop a feel?”

Blue winced as if they had been slapped, angry tears welling in their eyes. John found his voice, speaking for the first time. “Blue protected me from some bullies.” Blue looked over at him, eyes full of worry. Mrs. Murphy seemed thankful for him speaking.

“Honey, I have your food. Why don’t we go into the living room and you can tell me about why you’re home so early?” She picked up the plate created for herself and the glass of water from the kitchen counter.

The man released Blue’s arm, and they pulled away from him, rubbing their arm. “I didn’t hurt you that bad, Jay. Stop being so overdramatic.” He walked out of the room, Mrs. Murphy on his heels.

“Let’s go,” Blue said as John opened the door and stepped out. They grabbed his hand as they ran from the house, pulling John toward their bikes. “I’m sorry you had to meet my piece of shit father,” They swore, voice shaking with rage. He stopped in his tracks and Blue turned towards him, afraid. John let go of their hand, pulling Blue into a hug. They wrapped their arms around John tightly, and Blue felt a sense of peace come over them.

\--

16-year-old John awoke with a start at the tapping from his window. He rubbed his eyes, unsure of what was happening. Looking over to the window, John nearly fell out of his bed at the sight of Blue. Normally, Blue at his window during any time at day or night was not surprising. More, it was the fearful look on Blue’s face coupled with the black eye and cut lip. Jumping out of bed quietly, John crept over to his window, pushing it up. “Blue, what’s wrong?” He asked, getting a better look at their injuries.

“I’ll you more later. I just-“ Blue stopped, vulnerable. “John, could I just stay with you for the night? I don’t want to be alone.”

“We can’t stay here. You know how my parents are,” John shuddered to think of the Duncans finding him and Blue in the same bed. Yet, his stomach twisted pleasantly at Blue and him sharing the same bed.

“I know. I grabbed some stuff for us in the treehouse. We can make sure that you’re back before they wake.” Blue said, wiping at their black eye. John noticed the bloody knuckles on Blue’s hands, suggesting a brutal fight. He knew exactly who Blue probably fought earlier.

“Please tell me you have a first aid kit in that treehouse,” He said, frowning at Blue’s wounds. They nodded and John said, “Give me a few minutes and I’ll head over.”

Several minutes later, John climbed into the treehouse behind Blue. Blue’s Grandfather built it for Blue as a way of making up for several birthdays and Christmases all wrapped into one. Blue communicated secretly with their Grandfather as Blue’s father thought their Grandfather was undermining his authority. He probably thought Blue’s Grandfather would help Blue and their mom run away from him. Blue turned on the lamps and took an ice pack out of the first aid kit, before handing it to John. As he searched for the antiseptic cream, John asked, “Are you going to tell me what happened? You normally don’t get hit this much at your fights in school.”

“You know the story. Dad’s an asshole. He drinks and becomes a bigger asshole. He started getting aggressive and I just-I couldn’t stand by. You know that John,” Blue explained softly as they pressed the icepack against their eye.

He sighed, knowing all too well how Blue would recklessly crash into a fight to protect another person. “It just seems like he’s getting meaner. I’m just afraid he’s gonna kill you or your mom one day, Blue.”

“I’m not going to let him kill me.” A determined light shone in their eyes. “I’m gonna survive. I’m going to get you and my mom out of here. We’ll go to my Granddad and I’ll work in the national parks. You’re gonna be a hotshot lawyer; everyone knows you kick ass on the Mock Trial team.”

John smiled, a light blush coating his cheeks as he opened the antiseptic cream to put on Blue’s lip and hands. “I’m coming with you?” He asked, gently applying the cream to their lip.

Blue hissed at the sting of the antiseptic cream. “Of course, you’re my best friend. I promise you that we’ll be free from this when we graduate. They can’t stop us from leaving and you’ll never have to deal with the Duncans again,” Blue said as his hand pulled away from their lip, happiness warming John. He was glad to have someone like Blue, someone who cared.

“So, where is your mom?” He asked, hoping Mrs. Murphy was alright. John knew Blue wouldn’t have let her stay in the house by herself.

“She’s staying with a coworker. Don’t worry. He’s out for the night. Too drunk to find her, the bastard.”

“You didn’t go?”

“No.” Blue shook their head. “The only place I really wanted to be after the fight was here with you,” Blue confessed looking down at their bloody knuckles.

John shook his head as he applied the antiseptic cream to their knuckles. “Blue, I’m- “

“Don’t.” Blue cut him off. “Besides, I want to talk about something else, something happy. Let’s talk about the fact that I heard Leah’s been dying for you to ask her to homecoming.”

John swallowed nervously. “Well, she’s going to die. I don’t want to ask her to homecoming.”

“Why not?” Blue asked curiously. He appreciated the tone of genuine curiosity rather than the ‘What is wrong with you’ tone that so many others took. Leah was a pretty girl, but John only liked her as a teammate on the Mock Trial team.

“I don’t like her in the way that she likes me.” He said, applying band-aids to Blue’s knuckles. “Besides, I like someone else.”

Blue’s eyes shone brightly. “Who? I’m going to be the best wingman for you. Don’t worry, I have a few ideas about how you can ask them. How do you feel about roses? Or confetti? Or arriving on horseback?” Blue joked, wriggling their eyebrows at him. John laughed, shaking his head at their silliness. He loved that about Blue. They were always supportive of him and didn’t judge John for his choices. It was nice to not be under a microscope all the time. John tried to do the same for them.

“Um…” He said, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck. His cheeks turned bright red, unsure of how to tell Blue his feelings. John knew it was as good a time as any; he just didn’t want to ruin the most important friendship in his life. “I like you, Blue.”

“Oh.” Blue managed to say.

John scrambled, fully in panic mode. “Listen Blue, it’s okay if you don’t like me. I just don’t want to lose you.”

“John, stop,” Blue said with a laugh. “I like you, too. I was just afraid to tell you. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship.”

John let out a sigh of relief. “You do?”

“Yeah, don’t say that as if there isn’t anything to like about you. There are a million things to like about you.” Blue placed their hand on his cheek, removing the icepack from their eye. “I really like you, John.”

“I really like you, too.” He said, gently pressing his lips against Blue’s lips.

\--

John awoke with a start at the loud knock from his window. He blinked the sleep out of his eyes, running his hand through his dark hair. 18-year-old John glanced over to see Blue, crying, at his window as they furiously wiped tears from their eyes. He threw his blanket off, rushing to the window and opening it. “Blue, what’s wrong?” He asked, wiping the tears from their eyes. John’s concern grew as he searched their face. He could see dark droplets on their skin. John looked down to see their shirt was stained with something dark. Was that-Was that blood?

Blue jerked their head away from him and John’s hands dropped to his side, hurt coloring his face. Why was Blue acting so strange? Choking back a sob, Blue said, “John, I have to leave tonight.”

He tried to reach out to touch Blue again, but they eluded his touch. Blue looked away from him, unable to handle the pain they were causing. “You’re leaving me? But we made a promise, Blue. You, your mom, and I were going to leave this place, together.”

Blue winced at the hurt in his voice, knowing full well they were breaking a promise. “Not by choice. I just wanted to say goodbye before I left. I didn’t want to leave without saying a word.”

“Why?” John demanded, crossing his arms. He needed to know why Blue was breaking their promise, why they were leaving him just like everyone else had. Just like his brothers had.

“I can’t tell you, John. They told us not to tell anyone. You’ll find out soon enough.” Blue stifled another sob, finally looking him in the eyes. “John, I love you. I promise we’ll find each other again. I’ll do everything in my power to make sure that happens.”

Blue leaned in to kiss him, and John pulled away from the kiss. Anger and betrayal boiled in his chest. Everyone was abandoning him again and leaving him to suffer at the hands of the Duncans alone. Blue was just like his brothers, full of empty promises. “So, you’re just leaving me with a half-baked promise and a false declaration of love?” He snarled.

Blue’s eyes widened at the sound of his tone. “I plan to keep that promise, John. And it’s true that I love you! I always will!”

Hurt and angry, John lashed out. “How do I know that Blue? You won’t even tell me why you’re leaving! Enjoy your nice life where I’m not holding you down!” He laid the guilt on thick, slamming the window shut and climbing back into his bed quickly. Thankfully, the Duncans seemed to have heard nothing of the argument. John heard Blue sniffle and attempt not to cry as they climbed down from his window. He cried into his pillow, muffling the sobs of his own broken heart.

\--

24-year-old Blue pulled into the visitor parking lot of Yale Law school in their beat-up pickup truck. Even though they hadn’t talked to John in several years, Blue was proud of him for getting into the prestigious law school, away from their town and the Duncans. “Always knew you were gonna make it somewhere big, John,” Blue spoke aloud as they placed the truck into park. He always spoke of going somewhere far away from the Duncans. Stepping out of the grey pickup truck, Blue walked onto the campus, unsure of which building or buildings, were the law school. “Man, Professor Williams’ Administrative Law exam was tough,” said a student walking by Blue.

They looked over to see two law school students, and Blue waved at them. “Hey, would you two happen to know where the law school is?”

The two students stopped and Blue suddenly felt self-conscious. Compared to these two women, Blue felt slightly worn in their old work boots, ripped jeans, and a plaid flannel. Meanwhile, these two were wearing designer clothes, clearly worth more than some people’s paychecks. “Why do you want to know?” One student asked cautiously, giving Blue a once over and barely hiding her disgust.

Cheeks turning red, Blue grinned sheepishly. “I’m here to visit my friend, John. It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other, and I wanted to surprise him.” The two students didn’t need to know the whole backstory of why Blue was here.

The two students exchanged glances between each other, and one shrugged her shoulders. “See the quad over there?” The other student pointed, and in the distance, Blue could see the quad where many students were milling about. “That’s the law school quad. Beyond that, you’ll have to find your friend on your own.”

“Thanks!” Blue said graciously, walking off towards the quad. A few minutes later, Blue arrived at the quad, looking around for their old friend. A familiar laugh reached Blue’s ears and they grinned goofily, turning to the source of the laughter. In the middle of a group of students, stood John Duncan, appearing to be among friends he made. A girl hung on his arm, clearly enraptured with whatever John was talking about. He looked happy, free from the shadow of the Duncans. A sinking pit formed in Blue’s stomach, and they turned away, hiding behind a building. “I’m such a stupid idiot!” Blue snarled. How could they be so stupid and fucking selfish? To show up on the law school campus and expect to be welcomed with open arms? It was selfish and disrespectful, and Blue should have known better. They walked back to their car, letting John go so he could live a good life.

John surveyed the campus as if it were his kingdom. His friends, well more like associates really, were hanging onto his every word. He stopped in his tracks, sharp pain in his chest. Was that-? It couldn’t be. Blue would never want anything to do with him again, especially after the way he treated them. “John, is something wrong?” Sarah asked, looking up at him.

“Everything’s fine.” He assured, slipping back into the role, and continuing with his story. A part of him always wanted to know how Blue was doing. He hoped Blue missed him just as much as he missed them. John always regretted the way he spoke to Blue that night, especially after learning about their father’s suicide. Well, the papers said suicide, but John knew that something else had gone down. John would have gone to find Blue, but he was afraid to find out if Blue was happier without him. He didn’t know if he could take the heartbreak that came with that revelation.

\--

Blue swallowed nervously as the team approached the church. Something felt wrong, very wrong. Every nerve in Blue’s body screamed for them to go back to the chopper and leave Eden’s Gate the fuck alone. They glanced at the peggies surrounding the team, knowing the peggies were ready to kill them at a moment’s notice. Or at least, Hudson and Pratt told Blue that as Blue had only joined the department very recently. Hudson turned to give Blue a comforting smile, and Blue smiled back. They liked Deputy Hudson, who had become a friend to Blue in their short time at the department. Blue barely listened to Sheriff Whitehorse as he urged the team to stay calm and keep their guns holstered. To Blue, his words sound far away and distant.

Blue followed behind Marshal Burke and Sheriff Whitehorse as the doors to the church opened. The cultists turned slowly to face the group, and Blue’s heartbeat sped up. They should not be here; They should leave. Joseph Seed stood at the front, bathed in the light cross. He looked equal parts a madman and equal parts a divine prophet. Yet, Blue knew he was an ordinary man, not the prophet he claimed to be. The team continued down the aisle, aware of the numerous eyes on them. As they reached the front of the church, Blue finally got their first real look at Joseph Seed. Something was alluring about him, the same way darkness was alluring.

Their eyes continued to move, settling on a familiar face among Joseph’s Heralds. Blue gasped, stepping backward in shock. At the same time, John’s eyes widened as he stepped forward, his hand outstretched towards Blue. He stopped himself after a second, his hand dropping to his side. Marshal Burke didn’t notice, continuing to read Joseph his charges. Sheriff Whitehorse glanced at Blue with concern, clearly wondering how Blue knew one of the Seeds. Joseph Seed seemed intrigued by this, Blue’s skin crawling under his gaze.

Joseph continued his sermon, not missing a beat. His followers swarmed in front of him and Blue took another step back, their hand reaching for their service weapon. As he moved behind Joseph, John kept his eyes on Blue, practically unreadable. Blue’s eyes flickered between the peggies and John, praying he we would intercede on their behalf. They sighed in relief as the cultists left, but the relief was only temporary as Joseph stood in front of Blue, holding out his hands for Blue to put the handcuffs on.

“Rookie, cuff this son of a bitch.” Marshal Burke ordered.

Blue looked over at John apologetically. Out of all the ways for them to meet again, this was not how Blue wanted this to go. “I’m sorry, John, but- “

Marshal Burke cut in. “You know him, Rookie?”

“I- “

“Rook, you don’t have to do this. I could arrest him for you, or we could leave this well enough alone.” Sheriff Whitehorse offered, trying to give Blue an out.

“Rookie, if you don’t cuff him, I’ll have you arrested on every charge possible.” Marshal Burke threatened.

“You could do none of those things.” John’s voice cut in. Blue jumped, barely believing that John was speaking to them. “You could stay with us, Blue. We could be together just like we promised each other when we were younger. After all, I’m sure your rightful place is with the Project.” He offered, holding his hand out towards Blue. Marshal Burke and Sheriff Whitehorse glared at John, each for different reasons.

Blue breathed in deep, gathering their courage. “I know my duty as an officer of the law,” Blue stated, determined to do their job. They pulled the handcuffs from their belt, their hands firm and steady. “John, you can meet us at the station. I’ll make sure no harm comes to Joseph; I promise.” Blue placed the cuffs around Joseph Seed’s wrists, changing their life forever.

\--

To say Blue was pissed was putting it mildly. More accurately, one might describe Blue as wrathful. They sputtered beneath the Bliss filled water, their legs kicking out weakly. Blue’s fingernails dug into John’s arms as he held them underwater. They gasped for air as John pulled them out of the water, swearing they could have seen a hint of remorse, or maybe it was just wishful thinking. Blue knew if he dunked them under again, they would drown in their drugged up, weakened state. He attempted to push them under again as Joseph Seed spoke.

Rage roared in Blue’s chest as they realized Joseph Seed was here. Blue knew John was responsible for his actions, but they also understood Joseph Seed was a fucking snake in the grass, manipulating one’s vulnerabilities for his gain. Blue glared at Joseph as they stumbled towards him, John pushing them towards Joseph. If their hands were free, Blue might have punched him and broken those piss colored aviators. John snorted behind them, muttering “Some things don’t change” as Blue realized they might have said that last part out loud. Joseph took Blue’s face into his hands, his eyes searching for something.

“You are not beyond salvation.” He spoke, starting to lecture Blue on some bullshit that they didn’t give two fucks about. They tried to look over at John, trying to figure out how his life went so awry from the afternoon on the Yale Law school campus. Joseph held their face in place, noticing how Blue’s eyes focused on John no matter what he did. As he spoke to John, Blue stared at Joseph with disgust and it only strengthened their desire to punch him in the face. John looked scared as if Joseph was the ultimate decider of his fate.

“Then, we’ll see if you’re worthy of atonement,” John sneered. Blue narrowed their eyes.

“Like hell, you’ll pull any confessions from me,” Blue snarled, attempting to stand proud. Instead, they swayed on their feet, unsteady from the Bliss.

The corner of John’s mouth twitched upwards, relishing the challenge. Leaning in close, he whispered “Always so stubborn. You forget, Blue, I know you intimately. I know the ways to make you talk.”

Blue whispered back. “And you forget that I knew you before all this Eden’s Gate bullshit. I’m going to figure out whatever Joseph Seed has on you and make sure he’s stopped.”

John stepped back, smiling fully now. “I accept your challenge, Blue. Let’s see who comes out on top.” Turning to one of the peggies, John ordered, “Make sure this one arrives at my ranch. They are a special case; I think they will need a different kind of confession than the others.” A shiver ran up Blue’s spine as one of the peggies pulled them away, the world starting to go dark once again.

\--

“Thanks.” Blue accepted the orange soda from Adelaide Drubman, sitting down at the table across from her. Adelaide suggested they grab a beer at the small bar in the Marina. When Blue said they didn’t drink, she said that there was soda and still roped Blue into the celebration anyway.

Sharky sat between them, holding out his beer. “CHEERS!” He exclaimed loudly, and Blue and Adelaide clinked their glasses/bottles with his, also exclaiming “Cheers!”

Blue drank a small sip of their orange soda as they noticed Adelaide watching them. She smirked mischievously, her eyes glinting with curiosity. Blue didn’t like that look one bit, afraid of what Adelaide might ask. They never quite knew what might come out of her mouth. “Ya know, Sweetheart, I think John wants you badly. He went crazy looking for you.”

“I don’t think so,’ Blue cut in nervously, ‘I’m sure he was just angry about me destroying that ‘Yes’ sign.” He also might have been mad that Blue escaped. Rumors were floating around about John’s epic tantrum after the Deputy escaped. Blue kept the fact that John was a former childhood friend/sweetheart a secret, unsure of how others in Hope County might react. Most were starting to catch on that John’s intense focus on the Deputy was more than rivalry, it was personal. Adelaide’s eyes narrowed as Blue took another nervous sip of their orange soda.

“I gotta agree, Dep. John really has it out for you. Dude has a hard-on for you.” Sharky echoed, taking another sip of his beer. Blue shot him a glare as they nervously sipped their orange soda.

“If you find yourself alone with him next time, all I’m saying is that a good long something or other could give the resistance some breathing room.” Adelaide teased, watching Blue closely.

Blue guessed now was probably the time to come clean. “Well, it wouldn’t be the first time we did something like that.” They replied, cheeks turning red.

Adelaide clutched her chest, nearly falling out of her chair. She looked both impressed and worried about Blue. Sharky spits his beer across the table, mouth sputtering. He looked stunned, almost seeing Blue in a new light. “You and John Seed?”

“He was John Duncan when I knew him, and it was after our junior prom. We were childhood best friends turned childhood sweethearts.” Blue shifted uncomfortably in their seat. Sharky still stared stunned while Adelaide looked impressed and curious for details. Not eager to relive painful memories, Blue put their orange soda down, standing up from the table. “I think I need a walk alone.” They walked out of the bar, hands in their pockets. 

\--

Blue awoke with a start, gasping for air. They instantly tried to move, for them to be restrained by the chair they were strapped too. At the sound of cries, Blue looked up to see Joey Hudson across from them. Blue smiled, relieved to see Hudson alive and their fight reignited. They were going to escape from this place with Hudson and make it back to Fall’s End. “I’m going to get us out of here, Hudson,” Blue promised they continued to fight the bindings.

“I wouldn’t count on that, Deputy Hudson. Our friend, Blue, has a habit of making promises they won’t keep.” John smirked at Blue. “I’m disappointed that you didn’t come to my ranch. After all, I planned a special atonement for you. It’s all I could do for a childhood friend of mine.” Hudson cried harder, and Blue looked away, unable to meet her eyes. John monologued about the power of Yes, sounding like his goddamn parents. Their heart twisted in pain, remembering the John they knew. “So, who wants to go first? Hm?” John asked, jerking Blue from their thoughts.

“I DO! YES!” Blue shouted, surprising Hudson and John. “I want Hudson to hear this confession too.”

John grinned, reminiscent of a cat who had caught a bird. “I will not deny an old friend the chance to confess. Be quiet, Deputy Hudson. You’ll want to hear every word of this.”

Blue breathed deeply, knowing exactly what John wanted to hear. “It’s true that I did abandon you, John.” They stared at him, determined not to look away. “But it’s not true that I didn’t go looking for you. I found you at Yale.”

“You did?” John asked, stunned. “Why didn’t you?”

Tears welling in their eyes, Blue swallowed the lump in their throat. “You looked so happy at the time. You were surrounded by friends, who clearly appeared to love you. How much of a selfish fucker could I be to take that away from you? I loved you and I still do love you. At the time, it seemed like the right decision to walk away and not bring up dark memories.”

“That was my choice to make!” John snarled, stomping over to Blue. His hands dug in their shoulder as he practically straddled their lap. “That was my choice to make!”

“I know,” Blue said, blinking away tears. “I made the wrong choice. It should have been your choice about whether or not you wanted me back in your life. I’m here now, John. Please let me help you. You don’t have to hurt anyone anymore; we can fix this. There’s still a chance to make this right.”

“There is a way you can help me out.” John kissed Blue; his arms wrapped around their neck. They kissed back eagerly, missing the taste of him. He nipped their bottom lip for entrance, smirking when Blue relented. John pulled away first, leaving them both gasping for air. He looked down at their bare chest, tracing the word ‘Wrath’. Blue shivered under his touch and he laughed. “You were always so sensitive. I’ll return Deputy Hudson to her room and you can help me by confessing later.” He winked at Blue, getting off their lap and wheeling Hudson away.

Blue blasted the cultist back with their shotgun. Shit, where did John and Hudson go? They reloaded the shotgun with two shells and sprinted towards the bunker door. Catching sight of John and Hudson, Blue slammed their fist against the door. “LEAVE HER ALONE! THIS IS BETWEEN YOU AND ME!”

Blue hated the monstrous grin on John’s face as he walked towards the door. “Oh Blue, I know your sin. You embody wrath. Don’t feel bad; I know that one pretty well too. I just…I wonder does it feel different to kill those who have done nothing to wrong you versus killing someone who hurt you again and again.”

Blue’s blood ran cold as they snarled at John. “That’s a low fucking blow, John. Real fucking shitty of you to use that against me.”

“I’m not using it against you, Blue. No, I’m doing this because I care about you. But wrath? Wrath will burn you up and leave you empty. When you’ve burnt up all that wrath, I will pull your confessions from you.” John stepped away from the door and stopped in his tracks. He returned to the door, pressing the intercom for the final time. “I meant it when I told you there was a place in the Project for you. One specifically at my side. Imagine how happy you and I could be again?” Before Blue could reply, the peggies started attacking them and John was already wheeling Hudson away.

\--

Relief flooded Blue as John climbed out of the smoking plane several feet ahead of them. They raced after him, trusty shotgun in hand. John looked over his shoulder, narrowing his eyes at the sight of Blue chasing after him. BOOM! Blue flew several feet from the explosion, crashing into the ground. They struggled to breathe as the air was knocked out of their chest. The shotgun slid out of their hands, landing a few feet away. The world spun around Blue as they climbed to their feet. Blue shook their head, trying to stop the ringing in their head. “JOHN!” They screamed, worried for his safety.

As the smoke cleared, Blue noticed his body laying a few yards from them. Blue sprinted towards him, praying towards any deity that he was still alive. They dropped to his side, searching for a pulse on his neck. Blue’s heart jumped in joy as they found one, but it was clear John would need medical attention. “John, stay with me please.” They begged, a lump in their throat. Pulling the radio from their belt, Blue commanded, “Sharky, I need you to bring the jeep over here. I’ve got someone wounded.”

Changing the channel on their radio, Blue reached out to Sheriff Whitehorse. “Sheriff, I need you to bring Dr. Lindsey to Dutch’s bunker. Don’t ask why; I’ll explain more later.”

Blue ran their hands through their golden-brown hair as they leaned back on the couch in Dutch’s Bunker. Sharky and Dutch had been less than enthusiastic to help Blue with John Seed, but Blue promised that if they ever needed a major favor, Blue would be the one to do it. Sensing their desperation, Sharky had been kind enough to drive the two to Dutch’s bunker, and Dutch was allowing John to stay as long as he was tied to the bed. Blue knew they owed the two a favor they could never repay. Sheriff Whitehorse approached Blue and they stood up from the couch. “How is he?” Blue asked, concern in their voice.

Placing his hand on Blue’s shoulder, Sheriff Whitehorse replied, “He’ll be fine, Rook, but was it really wise to get John Seed medical attention? I’m surprised you didn’t put a bullet in his head. John has caused a lot of pain around here.”

“Sheriff, when I was young, there were only two people I could count on in my life: my mother and John Duncan. I know he’s done terrible things, and he needs to face justice for those things. Hell, I’ll be the first one to testify at his trial, but I can’t give up on him. I owe him that much.” Blue wiped at the tears coming from their eyes.

“You don’t owe him anything, Rook. He made the choices that lead him here today.”

“Do you think he would have followed Joseph Seed if I had been there? Because I don’t think he would have.” Blue snapped, knowing they were being unreasonable. They just couldn’t give up on John; they needed to keep their promise.

Sheriff Whitehorse removed his hand from their shoulder, knowing that it was futile to argue with Blue. “He should be waking up soon if you want to talk to him. Just be careful around him, Rook. A lot of people would be awful sad without you.”

Blue glared at Sheriff Whitehorse. “Don’t worry. The Resistance isn’t going to lose the only fucking person who does any fucking thing around here.” Blue made their way to John’s bedside, sitting on the ground beside his bed. They snorted at the irony of John being in the same room as when they first arrived in Dutch’s Bunker. Taking his hand in their hand, Blue asked, “Oh John, what are going to do?”

“Move to Hawaii?” He joked his voice raspy. John’s eyes opened, looking over at Blue. “Where am I?”

“A friend’s Bunker. You’ll be staying here for the time being. We can’t really let you return to your bunker or the ranch.” As he tried to sit up, Blue stood up, pushing him down. “You need to rest, John. You were injured pretty badly in that explosion.”

Instead, he scooted over on the tiny cot, patting it. “Come sit with me instead.”

Blue gently sat beside him as he lay, their back against the headboard. John rested his head against their thigh, eyes closed. They ran their fingers through his hair, smiling at the hum of approval from his throat. Softly, they asked, “John, how the hell did you end up here at Hope County?”

They listened as John explained every detail. He told Blue about the death of the Duncans, the development in their childhood hometown, the addictions, and meeting Joseph and his other siblings. He even told Blue about how Joseph would just replace Faith when they weren’t doing what he wanted or died. After finishing his tale, John asked, “What are you going to do with me, Blue?” His fingers dug into their leg; afraid Blue would leave him.

Blue knew John expected them to abandon him, to leave him to the mercy of Hope County. Sighing, Blue replied, “The people of Hope County need help; I can’t abandon them. I can’t let you go back to the project to start terrorizing people again either. After I stop your siblings, you’ll need to face the law for the crimes you have committed.”

“Please don’t kill Jacob, Faith, or Joseph. I just got my family again. I can’t lose them again.” John begged, his eyes desperate.

“Don’t worry, John. I’ll do everything I can to bring them in alive.”

“Just promise me you’ll stay alive too. I can’t lose you again either.”

“I promise.”

\--

Blue awoke, their vision blurry. The last thing they remembered was the fire raining from the sky and the truck crash. Blue pulled on the handcuffs restraining them, attempting to get free. Over the radio, an alert sounded, urging people to get to safety. Joseph Seed, standing by the radio, came into focus and Blue tugged harder at the handcuffs. No fucking way would they be stuck with this madman. Blue would kill him and get anyone who needed help to shelter. Noticing Dutch dead by their feet, Blue let out a primal scream, furious. Joseph turned at the sound of Blue’s scream, finally noticing they were awake.

They ignored Joseph’s speech, focusing on getting out. The people of Hope’s County needed Blue’s help; there still might be people alive out there. “I suppose I should thank you,” Joseph said, taking a seat in front of Blue. They stopped fighting the handcuffs, looking up at Joseph nervously about the next words to come out of his mouth. “After all, you protected my family in this bunker, providing them safe harbor from the collapse.”

Jacob stepped into the room first, smiling sinisterly at Blue. They shivered, hearing the faint ghost melody of ‘Only You’ in the back of their head. They hoped Dutch didn’t have a recording of that song in the bunker. Faith followed next, looking plain scared. She wrung her hands nervously, seemingly unsure of her role in this new world. Blue felt a moment of pity for her, but only for a moment. John followed in last, relief coloring his face as he saw Blue alive. However, it quickly moved to guilt as Joseph spoke again.

“After all you have done, it would be fitting to throw you out into the wasteland for all the pain you have caused.” Joseph continued as Blue glared at him. He stood up from the chair, placing his hand on John’s shoulder. “John advocated that it would be better for you to stay with us, that God planned for you to be a part of our family. He specifically brought you here for that purpose.” Turning to John, Joseph asked, “John, do you think you could teach Blue to be a part of our family?” 

With a nod, John walked towards Blue, Joseph releasing his shoulder. Kneeling before Blue and staring into their eyes, John said, “It would be my pleasure, Joseph.”


End file.
